Medical School-- Is It Worth It?

Very sad news today. A student in Zach's class committed suicide yesterday, after failing his Anatomy class for the second or third time. I am so sad when I think of him in that desperate moment.

Of course it's too late, but I wish I could reach out to him, to tell him i think he's great and that he gave it his all. During today's blustery afternoon, I was sipping on hot tea during nap-time and thinking about this student and his family. I was listening to Ray LaMontagne and he started singing "why, why did you go, why did you go, away?" and then I started to cry. I don't cry often. Suicides just get to me. I struggled with significant depression when I was 20, 21, and 22, and I remember what it feels like to want it all to end. I am so glad to be on this end of my twenties...I can't even tell you.

And then, of course I started to think about Zach and all of the pressure he is under with finals week. I just wanted to hug him and remind him that I love him just the way he is, and that if he wants to walk away from medical school, I will support him completely. We only get to live once, and I am really missing him. When he worked from 8-5, life was grand. The simple life is grand. It leaves room for God to do big things. Sometimes the easier thing is the right thing. Not often, but once in a while.

I think that during the holiday break, Zach is going to shadow a physician friend and think more seriously about the big picture. Maybe he can play "Should I stay or should I go" as he is driving to and from the hospital. He could walk away from the experience with a renewed sense of vigor, thinking yes, this is definitely what I want to do. Or he could leave the situation with the conclusion that it isn't worth it, and that he would rather do something else and see his kids grow up and spend time with me before I wrinkle up like a raisin. Zach, whatever you decide is fine by me. Let's just decide now, before we go into anymore debt :-)

Our thoughts and prayers go out to the family that lost their dear son yesterday. I cannot imagine the depth of your sorrow. May God's peace be yours.