Summer is upon us

We are just having too much fun splashing in our little back yard pool and I have been keeping busier than usual with cleaning, cooking, reading, and volunteering that I just haven't had much left over to blog about. Or time to blog, to be more accurate. I always have something to talk about :)

The boys are doing well. Max is walking and talking a lot now, which is fun. He is getting to be such a big boy. I was a little sad when Levi started growing up, but with Max I am fully embracing this new stage. It is so much fun. I could be wrong, but I think the "golden years" of family life, must be when all of the kids are around the age 4 to 10 range. No diapers and no hormones. I've really tried to listen to all of those ladies who have said, "They grow up fast, enjoy them while they're little." It's a challenging, but wonderful phase in life and I am thankful for every moment-- or at least 97% of them :)

Love,
Kate

Rain or Shine

The first Saturday in May is like a holiday for my mom and me. It's the Jenks city-wide garage sale day. I tell my mom that though we will probably move back to Colorado in the next year or so, I will try to always try to make it for the first Saturday in May. Don't worry mom. Thanksgiving and national garage sale day...I'll be there :)

My mom is an extremely generous, bargain-hunting diva who finds great delight in running a booth at a local flea market. We're pretty different that way. To me that doesn't sound like fun at all. I'd rather work a shift a month in a hospital than deal with hauling around furniture in my car. But for my mom, it's not about the profit, it is all about the thrill of the hunt. And I have to say...I do have fun finding good deals when I am with my mom, and I feel sad (more for her than for me) when I have a day where nothing catches my eye.

Fortunately, Saturday was not one of those days. I spent less than thirty bucks and came home with all kinds of great things...mostly like-new, name-brand clothes in sizes my kids will need a year from now (including two new guitar shirts for Levi...he loves "strumming" the guitars on his shirts, saying "Brrmmm, brmmm, brmm.") I found a simple, yet beautiful vintage yellow souffle dish for a dollar, a cute skirt for me (also for a dollar,) and an extra baby bjorn potty (just like the one we have in our bathroom) to keep in the car while the kids are potty-training (two dollars.)

And I do mean kids...as in both of them. I've always thought my nana was crazy for claiming that my dad was potty-trained at nine months. Ridiculous! "You were trained, nana," people might say. But low and behold, like good karma, Max started peeing and pooping on the potty (fairly regularly) when he was nine months old. I've heard people say that the second child does everything faster, but this is sort of freaking me out. When I put Max on the potty, he nearly always "produces." Levi says "Good job brother!" and then proceeds to do his business in the guest room closet. I guess I am glad that he doesn't seem jealous of his younger brother's potty genius. See, there is always something to be grateful for :)

Love,
Kate

Here comes the garden

My husband has been a student since we met 10 years ago. Mostly full-time, but occasionally just a class or two. Always busy. And sometimes, being married to a full-time student, one might feel that his or her own dreams are being placed on hold. I don't really feel that way, but sometimes (like this week,) when it is crunch time, i do feel like a single mother with three kids. Zach will graduate with his MBA at the end of July, and we are so excited that he will finally be finished.

Fortunately, I had the opportunity to get my degree and we ended up being married for almost 7 years when Levi came along...so even though most of my days are spent chasing my tail, cleaning up endless messes and feeding people, I don't feel that I am missing out. Yes, sometimes I wish I had more time to myself, just to read or to focus on a project, but I really can't complain. Mostly, I just feel grateful and loved (and tired.)

When we moved here, we thought we'd be staying in a 1-bedroom apartment. We sold our lawn mower and weed-eater and all of that, as we were preparing to downsize from our home in Colorado. But, then we came across a great deal on a cute little 3-bedroom, built in the 1930's, and now, with two little boys running around, I am especially grateful to have a nice backyard. I've wanted to garden and to have chickens in our backyard for years, but now it is finally happening. Gathering fresh eggs when I was 18 months old is my earliest memory, and I've always loved the idea of having hens of my own. We've had them since last June and I absolutely love it. I don't think we'll ever be able to live in a community with an HOA again. And as for the garden, Zach is planning on renting a rototiller tomorrow and today I roped off the areas I would like tilled. I am growing cantaloupe, zucchini, broccoli, tomatoes, bell peppers. and cucumbers all from seed and everything is looking beautiful. I was shocked to see everything shooting up (O Ye of little faith!) I actually bought seeds whose packages said "guaranteed to grow," and I put the receipt in a safe place :) If we have more of anything than we can possibly eat, I am going to be absolutely giddy.

Sabbath

For short times in the past, our family has observed a Sabbath of sorts. When Zach worked the weekends, Thursday was the day. Currently, it is from sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday. I think it is so important to have a day of rest. We are not Sabbath pros by any stretch, but here are our basic guidelines: no elaborate meal preparations, no computer time, no projects or yard work, no shopping or researching...etc. Instead, we try to fill our time with playing music, taking naps, reading, praying for our kids, relaxing, and mostly just enjoying each other with the goal of having absolutely nothing tangible to show for the day.

Sometimes Zach and I will complain that we feel a lack of direction from God. But, I feel silly for complaining when I have such a hard time sitting still and listening for His voice. Today was like a breath of fresh air...such a relaxing day.

I love the book Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner, and in it, she talks about how frantic Fridays were in her house growing up...all of the preparations for the day of rest. I think that I will be doing a lot of cleaning on Fridays. It's hard (at least for me) to rest in a dirty and cluttered space. Oh, and Winner also says that in a Jewish family, the momma lights a candle at sundown on Friday and this signifies to the whole family know that the time of rest has begun. Mmm....maybe I'll start doing that. Once the momma lights the candle, it's time for playing games and laughing...no "work" for the next 24 hours.

Our foster puppy

This sweet 10 week old pup will be a part of our family until it is auctioned off at the Crisis Pregnancy Outreach's annual fund-raising banquet on April 16th. We are all really excited to have a puppy for a month and I am sure that it will be hard to let her go when that day comes. Levi is already talking about a puppy at "my house" and Max adores every dog he sees. This should be fun. We will meet her early next week. I'm thinking by the end of it (perhaps) she and Levi could both be potty-trained....we'll see :)

Zach leaves for Haiti

Well, today is the big day! Zach is out of the United States and headed for Haiti. I am so glad that he has the opportunity to go and serve. And he is so excited...what a needed change of scenery for this relatively frustrating "what the heck are we doing?!!" phase of our lives. If I was to go to Haiti, I think I would be almost worthless as a nurse. I would rather hold babies and play with kids. It would be so hard to leave that place, and leave them there...without anything. Oh, how I wish there was more I could do.

When our kids get bigger, I hope that we can all go on some sort of a disaster relief trip together. I really want my kids to know that there is more to the world than themselves. And more to the world than America.

While Zach is gone, I am holding down the fort with the two little ones. And at the moment they are making each other laugh way too hard...instead of drifting to sleep like they are supposed to. The kids and I have a busy week planned...things on the schedule every night while Zach is away. It will go by fast, and we are praying every day for his team...for safety, health, unity, etc. I am looking forward to hearing many stories upon Zach's return...time to go check out the diaper situation and see if there is a good excuse for this delayed nap time :)

Big Decisions

Big news today: Zach has decided not to return to medical school in January.

It hasn't completely sunk in yet, but deep down we are pretty crazy excited to be returning to "normal life." We are having a hard time imagining spending another 7 and a half years like this. Max and Levi would be 7 and 8 upon Zach's finishing residency. He would miss out on so much. Although I know it is the right thing for many families, it feels like it's not the right thing for our family.

Zach would make a great physician...he really would. But for us, it's just not worth it. He failed his anatomy class by less than 1% point, and I really think it was the grace of God that allowed this to happen. I know it seems like a funny thing to say, but even though we were feeling like this was perhaps less than God's best for us, I am quite confident we would have kept traveling that road if he would have passed the class. He could easily retake the class over the summer, but has decided to quit now. We made a mistake, but it's okay. We are getting back on track and it feels good. It feels right. Perhaps we would have always had those "what if" questions in the back of our minds if he wouldn't have given medical school a whirl. Perhaps we should have listened a little better to that still small voice in the beginning. Perhaps we serve a God who is forgiving, and kind enough to help us out of our messes.

So, the obvious questions are: What is your plan now? Will you stay in Tulsa, or move back to Colorado? And since the decision just came in yesterday, we really aren't sure...but here's what we do know: We will stay in Tulsa for a while at least. Zach will complete the few classes that he needs to finish his MBA. Then, we are definitely open to moving back to Colorado. But, we will see. We have grown to like Tulsa more than we had intended to. We've made some wonderful friends, we attend a great church, and it has been wonderful to be closer to family...it is unreal how excited Levi is when he gets to go to "Mimi's house." Oh, but those mountains are nice and facebook just doesn't quite do the trick for staying in touch with dear friends there. We ultimately just want to be obedient. We don't want to learn anymore lessons the hard way.

Medical School-- Is It Worth It?

Very sad news today. A student in Zach's class committed suicide yesterday, after failing his Anatomy class for the second or third time. I am so sad when I think of him in that desperate moment.

Of course it's too late, but I wish I could reach out to him, to tell him i think he's great and that he gave it his all. During today's blustery afternoon, I was sipping on hot tea during nap-time and thinking about this student and his family. I was listening to Ray LaMontagne and he started singing "why, why did you go, why did you go, away?" and then I started to cry. I don't cry often. Suicides just get to me. I struggled with significant depression when I was 20, 21, and 22, and I remember what it feels like to want it all to end. I am so glad to be on this end of my twenties...I can't even tell you.

And then, of course I started to think about Zach and all of the pressure he is under with finals week. I just wanted to hug him and remind him that I love him just the way he is, and that if he wants to walk away from medical school, I will support him completely. We only get to live once, and I am really missing him. When he worked from 8-5, life was grand. The simple life is grand. It leaves room for God to do big things. Sometimes the easier thing is the right thing. Not often, but once in a while.

I think that during the holiday break, Zach is going to shadow a physician friend and think more seriously about the big picture. Maybe he can play "Should I stay or should I go" as he is driving to and from the hospital. He could walk away from the experience with a renewed sense of vigor, thinking yes, this is definitely what I want to do. Or he could leave the situation with the conclusion that it isn't worth it, and that he would rather do something else and see his kids grow up and spend time with me before I wrinkle up like a raisin. Zach, whatever you decide is fine by me. Let's just decide now, before we go into anymore debt :-)

Our thoughts and prayers go out to the family that lost their dear son yesterday. I cannot imagine the depth of your sorrow. May God's peace be yours.

World Wednesdays

A new tradition has started at the Wicar home. We call it "World Wednesdays." In order to help teach our children compassion for the poor, we are going to enjoy a very simple dinner every Wednesday. Tonight we are having lentils, rice, and fried onions. Over dinner we will discuss a certain country, or charity (like Heifer International), or what Jesus might have to say about the poor and/or social economics. Conveniently, Jesus talks more about social economics than any other topic in the new testament, so there should be plenty of material in a nearby Bible, if I don't plan a more formal lesson. I reserved a children's book from the library, called "Beatrice's Goat," so hopefully we will get to read that next Wednesday. Also www.questforcompassion.org is a website that has some fun interactive games to help (slightly older) children learn about poverty. Virtual poverty...gotta love it. There are three main things Zach and I hope to help teach our children: 1) God is real and he really loves you, 2) Compassion for the poor and the "least of these," and finally, 3) To love to read. Okay, maybe there are more than three :) I would love to hear any suggestions on how to make these meals more fun and meaningful. If you have any ideas or thoughts on trying something similar with your family, let me know :)

Levi turns 2!

Who says birthday parties need to cost a lot of money and produce a couple garbage bags worth of trash to be worth-while? Last year we had an eco-friendly 1st birthday party, where guests were invited to give a used toy or book wrapped in newspaper or paper sacks. It was fun. For party favors we got little reusable bags from whole foods and filled them with Annie's bunny treats and homemade play-doh.

This year, we had 10 little friends around our big kitchen table, making and decorating cookies. I think it was a hit. Even though Levi was very focused and serious, I could tell that he was enjoying himself. He is a funny kid. I used a recipe from a cookbook called Deceptively Delicious and included 2 cups of garbanzo beans in the chocolate chip cookie dough. Not bad at all! Then, we had cookie-shaped sandwiches and fruit, opened some presents, and played with balloons.

After all of our friends left, we played outside for a while and enjoyed the beautiful fall afternoon. Levi liked swinging the bamboo poles from our backyard at his birthday balloons. I took some pictures outside, needing to meet my quota for the month. Actually, on the 3rd of each month (for Levi) and the 10th of each month (for Max) I make sure to get some good pics. Just a little something I've done since the very beginning. It is fun to see them morph from baby to big boy in a matter of months. To think that Max will be dancing and saying all kinds of things in a year, just blows my mind.

A couple special moments from Levi's big day...when he woke up, Zach, Max, and I went to Levi's crib and sang "Happy Birthday," and Levi said, "I grow, I grow, I grow. I BIG!" Oh my heart. He gets it. Thanks Little Gorilla! Such a great little book our friends Jill and Zeph Carter gave to Levi for his 1st birthday. Levi played so hard that he took a 4 hour nap on the afternoon of his birthday. At 6pm he woke up and we went over to Grammy and Papa's to have the traditional cake and ice cream deal. Not to mention the big reveal. Levi's face when he saw his shiny blue schwinn roadster trike was priceless. He put Elmo and a toy airplane on the seat and pushed them around the house. He has not stopped playing with it since! He was on the trike and my parents were asking him if he was ready for cake. He said "no." Then when we sang happy birthday to him, he swayed back and forth and kept singing the song after we had stopped. All and all, it was a good day. A sweet day for my sweet boy.

And the good news. Today, during his nap, I went in to peek on him and he was prone with his little booty up in the air...and I thought to myself, "He is still kind-of a baby." And with that, I was happy. Our little miracle baby turned 2.

A day with family

Yesterday, we had a surprise visit from Zach's sister and brother-in-law and their 2 month old baby, Grace. They live about an hour away. My kids were still napping in one of those extra-long 3 hour "thank you Jesus" naps when they arrived, and I was so grateful for some one-on-one cuddle time with my new little niece. She is precious! They stayed for a simple dinner of eggs with potatoes, asparagus, and onions and some yogurt and strawberries...with peanut butter cookies for dessert. After they left, Zach and I put our boys down for bed and then my brother Will came to pick me up for a night out. We rented a good action movie called "State of Play" from Redbox and went over to my parents' house and munched on homemade chex mix and gingersnaps, complements of my mom. It was so nice to have some downtime. Zach stayed at the house to study and the boys didn't make a peep. It was a good day. It was actually a great day....because we found out that our dear friends Chris and Kaye could possibly be moving to Tulsa (from Austin) soon. Chris will interview for a job here next week. I am praying hard!! Oh please, oh please, oh please! Yes, this was a very good day.