The Best Failed Adoption Ever: Elizabeth's Adoption Story Part 6

I know that a birth is nearly always beautiful, and that death can be beautiful as well, but I've never known (until just recently) that a failed adoption can be beautiful too.

I left Elizabeth in Oklahoma just one month ago, knowing that I would likely never see her again. Our adoption had failed, and it didn't feel beautiful at all. However, I must say that the four weeks following my return to Colorado have been unexpectedly blessed. There are two parts to this blog post, and both are worth reading.

Part 1

Just before Thanksgiving, I was up late one night, and it occurred to me that I might want to check my "Others" folder on Facebook. I was surprised to see a lengthy message from a person, whose name I had never seen before. I quickly realized the message was from Elizabeth's new mom. I couldn't believe my eyes! She introduced herself, told me about her family, her husband, and their four biological children, ages 18, 13, 9 and 4. She told me that they were believers and had always thrown around the idea of adopting or fostering, and that when they found out about Elizabeth, they were very excited and immediately said "yes."

Elizabeth's new mom wanted to let us know that she was in a safe, loving family, and that they were very open to having a relationship with us. This was a huge answer to prayer. God was giving us closure--and He cared enough about our hearts to let us know that Elizabeth was well.

"Zach!" I shouted. "They found my blog! Elizabeth's new family found my blog! And they are really nice, and she's okay!"

So, a couple of days later, Elizabeth's new mom and I had a phone date that lasted for about an hour and a half. I was able to do a hand-off of sorts, which was really healing for me. I gave her some tips, and told her some things I found to be helpful. Elizabeth's new mom hoped that we were not angry, and I told her that I wasn't angry at all, and I was just so grateful that she reached out to me. She thanked me for taking such good care of Elizabeth. She told me she is convinced that Elizabeth has a very strong calling on her life, and that I kept something terrible from happening to her.

We will get to see pictures of Elizabeth as she grows up. What a blessing! When her birthday comes around in February, it wont just be a sad day, with us hoping she is okay and wondering where she is. We will probably get to see a picture of her smiling in front of a cake with four candles burning brightly. And that changes everything.

This journey was never really about us getting another child. It has always been about Elizabeth, and about ensuring she is treasured and adored, and that she knows God's love for her. So, we honor her new family, we bless them and we cheer them on.

Part 2

What happened next is one of the most beautiful things I have experienced in my entire life. Earlier this month, the teaching pastor at our church (Luke Humbrecht), called us and asked if it would be okay for him to share some of our adoption story during his sermon on Sunday. We didn't know exactly what to expect, but we trust him and we said "yes."

This month, Pastor Luke has been doing a series of sermons inspired by Heidi Baker's book, "Birthing the Miraculous." It's been really good, and I definitely want to read the book. I have a deep admiration for Heidi--she is a remarkable woman of faith and has spent her life serving the poor in Mozambique, Africa.

So, this particular sermon was about our responding to God. It was about how saying "yes" to God does not guarantee ease or even a "successful" outcome. But that we still need to be brave and say "yes" to whatever He is asking us to do. Pastor Luke said that oftentimes we only share the highlights of our journeys--we only share the success stories, and that we actually need to get better about being real and about sharing times in our lives that did not work out as we had hoped.

Then, he put a picture of our family (with Elizabeth) up on the screen and explained a little bit about our journey, and how we had said "yes" to God, when we were asked to adopt Elizabeth. He honored us for being bold and fearless, and encouraged others in the congregation to take risks and to say "yes" to God, even if when the outcome is uncertain.

Then, he asked Zach and I to stand up, and much to our surprise, the entire congregation rose to their feet and applauded us for quite some time. It was such a powerful moment, and while I have been in church my entire life, I have never experienced beauty like this. Beauty in the mess.

And there is more. He explained that even a failed adoption can cost thousands and thousands of dollars, and he invited the members of the church to consider giving to our adopttogether.org account. Honestly, it seemed like a tough sell. I mean, who wants to give to a failed adoption?! We are part of an incredible church, guys. More people gave after Elizabeth's adoption had failed, than before it had failed. This just blows me away, and I'm pretty sure I will never get over it.

One of my very favorite things happened on the way home from a holiday party last Sunday evening. Zach and I were in separate cars, and at a stoplight, I checked my email on my phone. The email stated that a new gift had been given to our adopttogether.org account. Someone had anonymously given $500--wow! I called Zach, to tell him the good news, and I was overwhelmed with gratitude for such a generous donation. Then, a little while after we got back home, I checked my email again, and did a double take. I had missed a zero.

"Zach, oh my goodness--I missed a zero. Someone gave us $5,000!"

We were just in shock. We have now received enough money to cover our attorney fees and our home study fees for Elizabeth's adoption. Never in a hundred years, would we have expected this!

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Several people have asked how our family is doing. I'd say we are doing better than we thought was possible. God is so good. We do not understand all of the whys, but Elizabeth is safe, warm, and loved. And we are back together, our little family of five, resting in this moment, and celebrating the birth of Jesus together. It's been a pretty incredible month, and I don't know if we have ever felt so loved in all our lives.

Gratefully,
Kate