Gratefully Kate: Elizabeth's adoption story (part 4)

Hi friends! I just wanted to write a little update. I left Colorado 21 days ago. It was a long drive (12 hours) but Isaiah (13 months old) did surprisingly well and I had a good book on CD (The Kitchen House by Kathleen Grissom) to keep me company. The real secret to the trip going so well, though was bringing the baby bjorn potty chair to use in the van, while Isaiah was sleeping. It was a miracle folks. Needless to say, I was so glad to finally make it to Tulsa and to have the 700 mile trip behind us. We pulled into the driveway at 2 in the morning, and after some much-needed rest, we picked Elizabeth up at 11am.

Elizabeth, Isaiah and I been together since that day, and things are going really well. I really like this girl! While parenting her is intense and constant, and while I feel like a therapist at times, I've been so encouraged because Elizabeth responds extremely well to my parenting style. Elizabeth has a tender heart and is so eager to please. It could be so much worse! We already have, in three weeks, what some adoptive parents work for years to attain. She tells me "You're cute mommy" and "I love you." She gives me hugs and is learning to trust that I will do what I say. She is scared that I will leave her in the car. She has a hard time with my wanting to get dressed in my room alone. She stands right by the door waiting for me.

On most days, I see some hint of how much her little eyes have seen. One day we were sitting down for lunch, and she said "Mommy, please don't get in a police car." "Okay, sweetheart, I won't get into a police car." Our hardest times are sitting at the table for meals, awkward interactions with people in public (Elizabeth does not yet understand certain social norms, personal space, etc.) Then there is the fact that she calls lots of people "Daddy." Yeah, that's a little awkward too, but she does often say it to men that are caucasian with shaved heads--so you know, we're getting there! :) If you are standing by the fridge, and I'm not in the room, she'll call you "Mom" too. Elizabeth has a lot to learn, but I am so proud of how far she has come already. She plays wonderfully with other kids and loves for me to read her books. I brought fifty books from home to read to her! :)

When we found out we were adopting an older child, part of me was relieved that we would not be on the emotional roller coaster of waiting to be chosen by a birth mom, etc., but let me tell you, this has been its own special roller coaster. Every day is emotional. All I need is a nightmare of an adoption story, and the fear starts to grip me in a major way. I have to keep speaking truth to myself and allowing hope to grow, and fear to shrink.

I am really missing Zach and Levi (6) and Max (5). I don't know when I will see them next. If I knew exactly when we will be coming home, this journey would be so much easier. Sometimes I feel guilty for leaving them. Sometimes I forget that our children will be blessed to see us adopt. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the fact that our lives will never be the same. Sometimes I count the cost, and I realize it is not small. Sometimes I realize that there is a lump in my throat and that I am just a swallow away from tears.

Then, I think of all of the things that I have to be grateful for: amazing friends, my mom and dad nearby, a roof over my head, thoughtful gifts for Elizabeth, four beautiful children, my health, and clean water to drink. The list goes on.

Here are some pictures from our journey so far! Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts and prayers!

Gratefully,

Kate