Elizabeth's adoption story (part 1)

How it all began- So it's funny, but back in October of 2013, my photographer friend Shannon Kaple Photographer took a beautiful picture of our family, with our newly adopted baby boy, Isaiah.  

One day in mid November, Shannon delivered the canvass, and we hung it up on the wall. Every time I walked by it, I felt so blessed to have a professional picture of our family. But let me tell you, there was something strange about that picture. I told Zach later that night, "I almost can't even look at that new picture on our wall, because it is kind of freaking me out. When I look at it, I see a little girl (about 2 years old) standing to the left of Levi. She's brown, and she's wearing a light dress, either white, or a pale yellow." I told a few of my close friends, and just thought it was really weird.

 

Back in May of 2013, when we were chosen to be Isaiah's parents, we promised his birth mom that we would adopt another child that was either African, or African-American. It was very important to her. Was she not so wise and loving to make that request of us?! She wants Isaiah to have someone in his family that looks a little bit like him. She would tell me, "I know you've always wanted to adopt a little girl from Africa, but I'm pretty sure she's coming from Oklahoma, and I think she's going to be older than Isaiah." Well, that's nice and everything, and we would be totally open to that, but the agency we work with does not do a lot of "older child" adoptions, I'd say maybe one every two or three years. And the chance of the child being a girl, and being African-American, and her birth family choosing us--well, it just seemed impossible. Can I just say how I love that Isaiah's birth mom has been such a big part of this story. She's awesome!

So, let's fast forward to June 10th, 2014. Our family had traveled from Colorado to Tulsa, Oklahoma, for the dreaded task getting our rental property near TU (University of Tulsa) ready to put on the market. Not my kind of vacation! When we are in Tulsa, I really look forward to going to birth mom support group on Tuesday nights with Isaiah's birth mom. At support group, we all go around the circle and share who we are, what's going on in our lives, etc. When it was my turn to share, the adoption director asked if we might be turning in another life book soon, and hinted that there was an infant coming later in the year, for which we might be a good fit. (Our adoption agency can always use Native American families, and I am Cherokee.) That was kind of neat to hear, but then Isaiah's birth mom responded to the whole group, with such authority "You know, I really do not think the Wicars will be adopting a baby. They are going to adopt a little girl, and she's going to be brown, and she's going to be like 2 or 3." It seemed a bit random, really. The rest of group was uneventful, and it finished up, and we all went home.

The very next day, the adoption agency received a call from a birth father. "Hi, my name is _____, and I am needing to make an adoption plan for my 3 year old daughter, Elizabeth." And when he told them that she was African American and Native American, everyone at the agency had a flashback to the night before and thought "Oh my gosh--the Wicars!" We met Elizabeth and her birth father for the first time that same evening.

Elizabeth was playing with toys in the room, while her birth father shared her story with us. It is a sad story that I will not write about in great detail, but it involves severe neglect, addiction, several months in foster care, and ends with Elizabeth being released from foster care, to a birth father who feels that adoption is the best option for his little girl. At one point, I got down on the floor to play with Elizabeth, and she came and sat in my lap, and whispered quietly in my ear, "I'm going home with you." It was amazing to meet her, and think "Oh my goodness, is this really our daughter?!" Isn't this picture of Zach and Elizabeth, just the sweetest?

So that is all I have time to write at the moment, but I will write part 2 of Elizabeth's adoption story soon. Thank you for reading, for caring about us, and for loving us through this wild and wonderful season!

Gratefully,

Kate