Max's story

We had always wanted to adopt....even before we were married, we agreed it was something we both wanted to do. We had only considered international adoption though, as we thought it would be easier not to have to "deal with" an open adoption. It is amazing how God changed our hearts in that department. We ended up having major fertility issues and after almost 7 years of marriage, our first miracle, Levi Christian was born in November of 2007. Even when I was pregnant with Levi, I dreamed about the children we might someday adopt. In November of 2008, Zach and I heard a whisper from God and felt like he was telling us to turn in our application to adopt to the Crisis Pregnancy Outreach here in Tulsa. At the time, our biological son, Levi had just turned one, so we thought it seemed a wee bit hasty...but we obeyed, because (as it turns out) His timing is rarely our timing. There were a lot of questions on our part...and we were not sure our application would be accepted since our plan for the next few years involes zero income...and Zach's being a full-time medical student, but we went ahead and turned in our application. We got our acceptance letter the week before Christmas and were so excited. In the coming weeks, I worked on our "life book." A life book is basically a scrapbook about your family, featuring how you met, how you came to know Jesus, what you are passionate about, why you want to adopt, etc. This is how the birth mom chooses the family she wants to raise her baby. We turned in our life book in the middle of February...and we did not know it at the time, but almost immediately it was given to a young couple to review. On March 12th, we had our home study completed. (A 3 hour long interview/examination of your house performed by a social worker.) We knew at this point that we would likely have a baby within a year. Eight days later, on March 20, a little after 10:30 pm, we were sitting in the living room reading...when we got "the call." We were told that there was a girl named April and a guy named Todd that had chosen us and that our little BOY was due on March 25th or perhaps April 4th....but either way...it looked like we were going to have a baby VERY SOON!!
We tried not to get our hopes up, knowing that sometimes these things fall through. But, it is sort of impossible to guard your heart at times like these. At the time of the call, we knew very little about the birth parents. We knew that the birth father was Native American and that this was his first child. And that Todd's father was not supportive of the adoption. We knew that the birth mother was a teenager and already had a 14 month old little girl. That Sunday, March 22th we met April and Todd for the first time. Having no idea what to expect, I must say we were a little relieved when they showed up, as they were so cute and "normal" looking. April is fair with light brown hair, blue eyes and gorgeous dimples. I love dimples. Todd is fairly tall and athletic, with a dark complexion, with short dark wavy hair, and brown eyes. I thought for sure our new little boy would have his coloring and her dimples.
As we sat at Panera bread with our wonderful mentor Jeanette (a volunteer from the adoption agency) and this very pregnant young couple, we beamed with excitement and begin to ask them all kinds of questions. What kind of music do you like? What do you do for fun? Do you have any brothers and sisters? What questions do you have for us? Is there anything in our book that seemed weird? Have you thought about baby names? Speed dating at its finest. We found out later that they were very surprised that we were so interested in them (not just the baby) and they said that for the first time since July's positive pregnancy test, they had a sense of peace and KNEW that we were the ones. We visited for about 3 hours and by the time we left, we were already in love...with this baby and his birth parents. I went home and wrote in a new journal I had started for the adoption process. Then I started washing our newborn clothes and thinking of things we might need for the new baby. At the time, Levi (16 months) was receiving all of his liquid from breast milk and was not interested in taking a sippy cup. Especially a sippy cup with milk. So, it became my mission to speed-wean him and pump milk for the baby until he arrived. A straw cup with whole milk and a shot of very vanilla soy milk for kids turned out to be the winning combination. I continued to nurse Levi a couple times a day until he was 18 months old.
The waiting was the hardest part. We waited and waited and waited. On March 20th we were told he was due any day. On April 1st, still no baby. April kept saying "April is not going to have a baby in April." If I went several days without seeing her, my mind would wander...."maybe she had the baby...and just didn't have the heart to tell the agency..." Within a week of finding out about him, we were all calling him "Max." It was one of the names we mentioned at the initial meeting, and they really liked it, and it stuck. Max is Zach's middle name, and we really liked the idea of giving him a family name. It has been in Zach's family for several generations.
The waiting wouldn't have been so hard if we had a closer relationship that had existed for more than a few days, but it was hard. I wanted to be with the baby...it felt weird to be across town and not to know...anything. Also, I didn't want to bother April, knowing she must be so tired. 9 months pregnant and chasing around a 14 month old. Beyond tired. We would text back and forth...usually a few exchanges back and forth per day. And at that point I was such a slow texter. So much better now :) Thanks, April!
On April 9th, I was feeling particularly anxious and we decided to have dinner and play Settlers of Catan with our good friends Brian and Sarah. We had a great time and got some much-needed distraction. We came home around two in the morning and started to get ready for bed. I was washing my face at 2:15, and the phone rang!!! Immediately, we knew. April could hear me squealing and saying "oh my gosh" in the background. Her friend Karen (who is like a mother to her) told us they were checking into the hospital and that April was dilated to a 5-6. We were soooo excited. This was really happening. 17 days after the March 25th due date she had been given twice. We called my parents and my dad arrived about 30 minutes later to stay at our house with Levi. I reapplied the make-up I was washing off and Zach and I ran around, making sure we had everything we needed for the hospital stay. We arrived at the hospital a little after 3 am and were told that she was already dilated to a 7-8. By 4 am, she was dilated to a 10, but Max had corkscrewed a little. Her epidural was working nicely and she and Todd took a nice long nap. We didn't :) We waited excitedly in the cold waiting room, and my mom came and waited with us. We prayed and hoped and knew that any minute, someone could walk through those double doors and ask us if we were ready to meet our son.
Max was born on April 10th (or very Good Friday, as we like to call it) at 8:38 am. I was given a hospital bracelet with the word "father" on it and invited to wait right outside the delivery room until April was in a modest position. I was shaking. And I could hear my son crying. I will never forget that day. Max was having some mild respiratory distress, so the nurse took me, Zach, and little Max to the transitional nursery to give him oxygen and a respiratory therapist suctioned the fluid out of his lungs. He did great and within a couple of hours, we were resting in our own hospital room, admiring our new son. He was beautiful. Strawberry blonde hair, fair skin, long fingers, full lips...so different than the little boy I pictured when we first met April and Todd. In fact, he looked very much like what I thought Levi was going to look like. Levi has brown hair, dark hazel eyes, and a light olive complexion. It's true, you just never know.
Our hospital room was next-door to April and Todd's hospital room. Max stayed with us and nursed and slept, and April and Todd spent a lot of time resting, but they would request his presence on occasion, at which point we would wheel him over and let them visit. There were a few little rough patches during the hospital stay, but all in all, it was a good experience. My mom even came with a waffle maker and batter and made us fresh waffles with strawberries and whipped cream in our hospital room. Seriously, she is amazing. And it was our first time to be away from Levi overnight, but he did great. We took Max home on Easter sunday and that was emotional. Per hospital policy, April was holding Max as the nurse pushed her wheelchair through the hospital. It was raining and April and I waited for Zach and Todd to pull up the vehicles. When it was time, she handed me this sweet bundle. There were no words. "Thank you" came to mind...but seemed cheap. "Take care?" So we said nothing, or maybe we said "We'll talk to you soon," but whatever the case, it was dramatic and when I got into the passenger's seat, I couldn't hold back the tears. They were for April and Todd. I just couldn't imagine what they must have been going through. And how strong and collected they were throughout the process. And for how much we had come to love them both. We love you Max and will always honor your birth parents for the difficult and selfless decisions they made. Your name suits you perfectly, as you truly are "The Greatest Gift from God."